Ananda yoga retreat

I arrived in Ko Phangan yesterday and negotiated a cheap fare to the west side of the island from the pier. When I arrived at Ananda I learned that they didn't reserve my room, because they didn't receive my email. One of the cooks in the kitchen took me across the street to a restaurant and haggled a bungalow behind the resort in a beautiful garden for only $200 Baht, and I have my own bathroom, a fridge, and a fan. I was very grateful. The bed is really comfortable as well, so I'm pleased. The owner told me that since I had a beer the day before that I could not begin the 7 1/2 days cleanse that day, because I needed to eat healthy and prepare my body, which is what I did. My friends John and Deidre surprised me by showing up at the resort and booking a palace next door(a palace because it has air-con, a kitchen, and a bathroom with a tub!). They informed me that they were staying an extra 2 days just to hang out with me! :D
That night after my superb organic vegetarian dinner I had to go to the office and watch a video with the other detox beginners, on how to administer a coffee colonic. I was given a packet with info on the detox program, my schedule, and a lubrication cream for my own personal colonic tip and my anus. Yeah, I know, ewww!
Anyway, Last night after my video I followed John and Deidre to their palace, and I taught them Yin yoga. John is a black belt in martial arts, but he cannot do the splits, so I showed him some postures he could practice to prepare his body, and a little partner yoga. I know he can do it. Then I went to sleep, and woke up to the sounds of a women with morning sickness puking in the beautiful garden behind a Buddha statue.
The detox program at Ananda cost me 14,000 Baht.

Here is my detox schedule for the next week:
7:30 a.m. Shake(phyllium and Bentonite)[fibrous bulking agent that sweeps toxic buildup out of the intestine]
8:30 a.m. Yoga(Iyengar style)
9:00 a.m. Herbs (Nutrition and Chomper) [conditions and softens the mucous and plaque and to remove toxic waste from the alimentary canal, organs, and cells. Helps to strengthen the body and pathways of elimination]
10:30 a.m. Yoga is over. Go have a Shake(Psyllium and Bentonite)
12:00 p.m. Herbs(Nutrition and Chomper) and Carrot juice
12:15 p.m. Coffee Colonic
1:05 p.m. Shake(phyllium and Bentonite)
1:15 p.m. Thai massage for detox(1 hr)
3:00 p.m. Herbs(Nutrition and Chomper), Coconut juice, and herbal steam Sauna
4:00 p.m. Optional Yoga
4:30 p.m. Shake (phyllium and Bentonite)
6:00 p.m. Herbs(Nutrition and Chomper)
7:15 p.m. Shake(phyllium and Bentonite)
8:15 p.m. Coffee Colonic
9:00 p.m. Herbs(Nutrition and Chomper)
Flora Grow before bed(provides healthy bacteria as it establishes itself in the bowels while supporting a balanced PH environment)


Day 1: I'm trying to get over my mental cravings to eat. My body isn't hungry because of the supplements. I feel good overall. The colonic session was weird. The power went out while I was in mid-treatment, so the emergency light came on. That didn't interrupt the in and out flow of the session, but it was weird to think that coffee was going in my rectum. They say coffee is the best detoxifying agent, and they say that through the rectum is the only healthy way coffee should enter your body, because it is absorbed by the veins in the portal system and channeled directly into the liver. The caffeine stimulates the liver and the gallbladder to excrete toxins, open bile ducts, and encourage peristaltic action of the intestines. It breaks down accumulated fat in the liver cells, encourages excretion of bile and removes gallstones, and cleans the intestinal walls. After my colonic session, which was a little gross, I received a lovely massage. The woman had a healing touch, and I noticed that when she pressed on my abdomen it felt tender. It has felt tender since my food poisoning episode in Chain Mai 3 months ago. I did not attend the optional yoga session at 4 p.m. because I feel a bit tired, and I suspect I will go to sleep early tonight if John and Deidre don't want to do something, since it's their last day on Ko Phangan. I feel really quiet and contemplative right now, and in my mind I think this detox will not only purge toxins from my physical body, but also old emotional baggage. I hear this experience can be very emotional. I look forward to getting all the junk out and feeling even more healthy inside and out. Some of the people I've met who are on day 7 have said the experience was amazing and very transformative. They are all glad they participated in this experience. I'm lucky to be in such a supportive atmosphere while enduring this.
Feedback: The man who cleans up the colema rooms after each use informed me that 2 people out of the group have unhealthy bodies, when I asked if I was one of them he said yes. That made me upset, because I don't eat a lot of meat, I drink plenty of water, and I exercise regularly. One of my grandmothers died from colon cancer, so I'm glad I made the decision to do this cleanse, because he described my stool as having some leathery rope consistency, which is a mucous plaque. This buildup can cause health problems over time. Also, I learned that in ancient times the digestive track was referred to as the emotional seat, so I'm sure this cleanse will definitely also be an emotional cleanse, besides a much needed physical one.


Day 2: This morning I woke up feeling a little tired and weak, but as soon as I had my shake I felt better. The yoga practice and lecture at this facility is not to my liking. I find it too existential, and I think the two teachers have a lot of arrogance, and one of them I believe to be a sexual predator with the young cute impressionable women. So, I went to my porch and indulged in a lovely personal practice and meditation. I met an older Aussie with a killer headache, so I practice my Thai massage headache therapy on him, and he felt some relief, but with the detox a headache is normal in the beginning. On day 2 the body has 10 times the normal amount of toxins in the bloodstream. This afternoon as I was drinking my delicious coconut juice before my sauna session, I felt a sharp prick on my abdomen, and when I looked down it was a brown centipede! Those are very poisonous. I freaked out!!! I couldn't believe how fast those buggers can run. It didn't bite me luckily. What I felt was its sharp little legs clasping onto my t-shirt. After sauna I felt a little tired, so I went to lay down, and then the weak feeling developed into a headache. The coffee colemas are getting a little easier, but I wouldn't say I enjoy them, but I know they're good for me. Well, this experience is good for me overall, because I have a rash on my arms again, which I think is due to the sun, but the owner also told me it's my liver purging toxins, and that I have a lot to get rid of. That information is keeping me motivated to stick this out, but it's not too hard. I thought it would be.


Day 3: Today I woke up feeling a little tired, but after my shake I felt excellent. The other reason I felt great is because I got to hear from Mark. He called and had such wonderful things to say that I felt elated. All day, in fact, I've had loads of energy, and I've been in positive spirits! :) My personal yoga practice in the garden this morning, was again very beautiful. I felt so connected and authentic in my practice. I realized I needed this little boost, going on holiday, to reconnect me to life, love, and my inner light. I now feel like I have even more to share with my students when I begin teaching again. I feel grounded and supported by energy, friends, and god. After my massage I went into my bungalow to lay down and feel the pranic flow when something hit me: it donned on me that my beloved art that I've been hauling around with me from Angkor Wat, Cambodia was not in my space. Where was it? That jolted me upright immediately, and I ran to the last place I could have left it: The yoga resort restaurant. I inquired about it, and luckily they knew where to find it, and told me they would retrieve it and bring it to me tomorrow. Thank god! The art is rubbings of the Apsara women off the temples of Angkor, and is very sacred to me. I need to be more careful! So, now I have a little bit of a headache, but I just need to relax and breathe. In 20 mins. I go for my sauna, which is my favorite part of the day, in part because it is precluded by fresh coconut juice. YUM! I'm now obsessed by anything coconut! Also, I love saunas so much that I absolutely MUST find a way to have one in my future home! I've loved them since my travels to Scandinavia. Finland specifically! I asked the owner again what to do about the rash on my arms, which he believes has to do with my liver pushing toxins through my skin, and he told me to rub Bentonite on it, which is a volcanic ash from Thailand to further assist pulling the junk out of my skin, and to stay out of the sun for long periods of time. I will apply it after the sauna, and leave it to dry, and then 1 more application an hour before bed, and wash it off in the morning. I really want it to work! :) Although, this rash I've had for a while now. It's frustrating! I have lost a little weight, but that's natural with a program like this. Nothing shocking or unhealthy by any means. Day 3 means just about half way there! Yay!


Day 4: I woke up feeling light headed this morning, but it was again resolved after having my shake. Today was fine overall, but after my massage I felt really light headed, and hallucinated a little, because she did some deep abdominal massage work using her elbow. That was immediately cured after I rested a few moments and then jumped in the pool to do laps. Right now my heart is beating a little fast, and I feel anxious. I'm just trying to breathe deep and relax as much as possible. I find today to be a little emotional like last night. The rash on my arms is still there, and on the Internet I looked it up trying to self diagnose. My unprofessional opinion is that it could be keratosis pilaris. I guess it mostly effects women, and is found in 40% of adults. Heat is suppose to help remove the unstuck hair follicle, so a sauna is very good, or warm tropical climates. I've had this for awhile. I read that it is non-curable. :( However, I can minimize the appearance by keeping the skin moist, using fragrance free or mild soaps, using creams or ointments ofter a bath such as: preparations containing alpha hydroxy acids or cream containing urea.
sigh
okay, well at least I have more to work with here.
Revelation: The coffee colema always makes me uncomfortable and a little anxious. Since the deep massage on my abdomen I felt strange all day. As the colema began I tried to focus on my breath. I used the mantra: Out with the old(exhale), in with the new(inhale). I started to calm. Then I heard my voice inside say: "I love you, Tracy." Suddenly I began crying uncontrollably! It was an extremely intense experience. Over and over this voice said: I love you, Tracy. I continued crying, and then my voice said: You are beautiful, I love you. Everything is going to be okay.
The crying persisted heavily. I was embarrassed that people in the nearby rooms would hear me so I put my hand over my mouth. Why I cried by my inner voice saying this to me I do not know, but I needed to release the suppressed emotions. I brought my attention back to my breath and mantra to calm myself. Over and Over. Finally the tears subsided. Once I was calm and my mind's focus was directed on my mind's eye(the point at the center of my forehead) to remain calm I received a vision.
The vision was of myself filled and surrounded by light. I was smiling. Then I heard my voice again say: I love you, Tracy. I started to cry again, but the vision remain in my mind. Even if I opened my eyes, when I closed them again there I was emanating light and smiling. I couldn't escape the image. Then the light encompassed me in an internal hug. I cried much more, and brought my attention to my breath until the crying subsided. Then The colema was finished. So much came out of me emotionally and physically. I spent a lot of the night very emotional: Crying, journalling, and meditating. I spoke with Mark on the phone afterward, he really calmed me down, and shed some light upon my experience. My sleep that followed was very deep and restful.


Day 5: Today was really great. I had tons of energy, and felt really optimistic. My deep abdominal, foot, and head massage was lovely. I did not feel weak afterward at all. I hallucinated a little, but it quickly passed. In less than an hour though, I have to go in for my coffee colema, and I feel really anxious! My breath is shallow. I'm not consciously aware if it is due to a fear of emotionally breaking down again, but it might be. Although in hindsight my image and experience was gorgeous, it was still so very intense: my release, and it scared me.
I'm just trying to relax.

Day 6: I woke up feeling really angry, irritable, anxious, and emotional! I wanted to punch a punching bag, and when the owner asked me how I was I cried. Of course I excused myself to go to my room and meditate. I felt much better after that! :) I went to visit the owner in his office. He is a lovely older Greek man in perfect shape and is always smiling, who I find I enjoy seeing and speaking to everyday. He seems very genuine and caring. I asked him what is going on with me, how to deal with it, and I told him a little about the experience I had on day 4 in the colema room during the evening. He was very helpful. The rest of the day that followed was really good. I soaked up the heat in the sauna for an hour and a half, and the massage was gorgeous. The lady said I had a lot of healthy energy in my abdomen, and that she could easily feel my pulse everywhere she touched. That evening before the colema session I was not anxious for my first time. When I saw my favorite Aussie: John, he told me he requested a colinder for his session, which is a basket that catches all the junk, so you can see what's coming out of you. Immediately Carmen and I said simultaneously that we wanted one too, then we laughed, and high-fived. Yeah, we're dorks! I got to see what came out that night, and I must say: I look pretty healthy! :) When I tried going to sleep, I again had difficulty quieting my mind. I had too much energy! I sat up in bed and focused on my breath until I slipped into sleep, although it did take an hour.

Day 7: It's my last day! Yay! Well, tomorrow is a half day, but then I get to eat: Fruit. Today is my last day of fasting! Whoo-hoo! I did a lovely yoga session in the morning and had loads of energy. The day itself was nice and flowed well overall. In the evening there was a fire somewhere that emitted a strong smell of smoke too overpowering! It gave me a killer headache. My body is so sensetive right now. I just wanted to take it easy, so I went to the yoga lecture on concentration, but couldn't concentrate, because my head hurt so bad, so I left and laid on the bench by the pool and rocked my head back and forth on the wood to create a soothing massage. When I stopped I felt warm hands on my head, and the inflow of the healing reiki energy. I opened my eyes to see my beautiful friend Veerle(Belgium). I thanked her, and she continued until my headache was completely gone. Thank god! Thank you, Veerle. I want to learn Reiki! Always have. I then went in for my garlic colema. I used a colinder to see if any parasites came out, but thank god, none did. I drank my flora drink, and went to my room to be serenaded by the sound of croaking frogs from the pond. I find in the last couple days I'm tired, but have difficulty falling asleep, but I did fall asleep around 2 a.m.
I can't wait for fruit! :D My body had definitely lost weight. I look forward to the weigh in.

Conclusion: Today is the half day. I had a morning water colema to wash out the garlic, coffee, and etc..., then I drank a flora water which helps to rebalance my colon and intestine. What followed was my favorite part of the day: Fresh Watermelon! Yay! The first taste of real food in a week: YUMMY! John(Australia), Erica(England), and I all took excited pics of one another beaming with delight holding a fork full of this delicious fruit. John and I stayed in the restaurant chit-chatting, as we do. While Erica explored town with her friend, who I learned later was a very toxic person, and they are no longer friends. This experience does shine light on who you are and whom you will chose to surround yourself with. :) Then Lek(staff) brought out our papaya and mango drizzled with yogurt and topped with bee pollen. It was heaven! I felt my knees go weak and my heart melt with the first bite. Truly Divine! Lek warned us to eat slowly, and as previously mentioned: There's no teeth on your insides, so chew slowly to aid in your digestion, and stop when you're full.
Now my diet is in my hands. This whole experience has given me perspective on how I want to create nutrition and lifestyle changes. I'm optimistic and motivated. :)
WEIGHT: Before-163lbs/74kg After-154lbs/70kg So, I lost 9 lbs! I'm sure it will naturally balance out, but MY ideal weight is 150 for my height, which is 5'10ft. tall. My body feels a bit to thin in parts, but it will fill out with food as it should. :D I'm happy with myself as I am though.

Also, I look forward to the next adventure: my intensive 10 day meditation retreat. Doing a detox and getting all the emotional and physical baggage out of me has prepared me for that next challenge, I feel.
After meditation I get the opportunity to be a dula(the person who executes the birth plan to the hospital staff) to Nichole in Bangkok.